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| I'm fine Roger. I'm kidding! |
10:01: Did a voiceover just say something about cutting back on drinking? Is this the right channel? Did I accidentally put on WE?
10:02: Aqualung doing laps at the NYAC. Did Don just cough his lower intestines into lane 5?
10:03: The Stones! If Don can’t get no satisfaction then every man in North America should just give up now.
10:04: Tonight's guest stars are: Mrs. B’s cataract goggles and the vending machine.
10:05: A bare-ass moon on AMC???? Poor Joanie, she can’t get no respect or satisfaction.
10:06: Mrs. B’s booze cruise. Did Don just tell her to bring all that Canadian Club back to the storeroom???? I want to work at a place where there’s a storeroom full of booze!
10:07: Joanie gives her husband some basic training of her own.
10:08: Don’s Dinty Moore Dinner.
10:09: T.S. Draper says “I sound like a girl.” Yes, sober Don, you do.
10:10: Dear Diary, my goals are to: climb Kilimanjaro (just like Hemingway), and gain a modicum of control over the way I feel (just like my frustrated ex-wife Betty who shoots the neighbor’s birds to unwind.)
10:11: Look at all that undrunk booze in Don’s office. I think I’m going to cry.
10:12: Joanie’s back!
10:13: Stan’s joke: “This guy’s balls are so big…” interrupted by Peggy cutting off Stan’s balls. (No joke.)
10:14: Harry has Joey on his casting couch? Wait a minute! There can only be one Sal on Mad Men. Bring back Sal! Bring back Sal!
10:15: Commercial Break. (Thank God, I need a drink!)
10:18: Snap Betty! Is that Don and a mini-me? Poor Henry Draper, you’re in for it tonight!
10:19: Don’s smiling. He hasn’t seen Betty yet.
10:20: And there she is—the ice queen with her superpower icy stare focused on Don.
10:21: “That’s my ex-wife, her husband, and some slob who's about to have the worst night of his life.” I can’t do that scene anymore justice than Don has.
10:22: Betty’s bun’s in a knot.
10:23: Betty chain smoking her fury away in the girl’s room.
10:24: And then there’s Henry Draper scolding Betty, “You need a drink? You need a drink? What’re you a wino? You’re not allowed to say you need a drink." First of all, Henry, Betty drinks what appears to be giblets, and secondly, did you not read that she shoots her neighbor’s birds to unwind? She’ll shoot your ass if you keep it up.
10:25: Did Betty Jr. just unbuckle Don’s pants? Whoa! That’s a hum…dinger.
10:26: To be continued? And how come her lipstick isn't smudged?
10:27: Commercial Break
10:29: Dr. Faye in a phonebooth airing her dirty laundry. “I don’t cook!” Uh-oh. Looks like somebody read “The Feminine Mystique.”
10:30: Henry’s trying to sneak out on Betty. Could the honeymoon be over?
10:31: Henry may be able to crush Don’s boxes, but he can never crush his ghost.
10:32: “Vodka and Mountain Dew is not a cocktail, it’s an emergency.” (I'm having this printed onto tee-shirts!)
10:33: "Boobs on the blotter." (The writing just keeps getting better and better!)
10:34: Don’s dilemma: Canadian Club or coffee. Coffee? Coffee? Did he just tell Mrs. B to get him coffee??? Roger, where are you? We need an intervention! STAT!
10:35: Commercial Break (Christ on a cracker, I need a drink!)
10:39: Joan’s going to smash that vending machine over Joey’s head.
10:40: Classic Joan line, “I can’t wait until next year when all of you are in Vietnam…And when you’re over there, in the jungle, and they’re shooting at you, remember you’re not dying for me. Because I never liked you.”
10:41: Peggy fire Joey or be the office tattle-tale.
10:42: “You’re fired.” Go Peggy. Crush that boys club and ego!
10:43: Joey explains his firing to the boys as, “The Power of the Poontang.” (Joey gave birth to the sexual harrassment industry. It's because of him you have to suffer through all those Human Resources training videos and sign those compliance forms.)
10:44: Dr. Faye gives in to sober Don and says “yes” to dinner.
10:45: Commercial Break
10:49: Betty to Francine, “His date was all of 15!” (Ouch.)
10:50: “He doesn’t get to have this family and that (Betty Jr.)” God, I’ve missed you Betty!
10:51: “You’re a humorless bitch!” No Joan, that's Betty, not Peggy!)
10:52: Henry mowing his own lawn? With a hand mower? Leave the boxes and run Don, run!
10:53: Candle in a Chianti bottle! Screaming Romance!
10:54: Faye’s father owns a candy store? What is he Louie Dumbrowski? Wait. Did she say he’s in the mob? Is Faye connected?
10:55: Sober Don is whiny Don. Who wants to hear about how he’s not invited to his 2 year old’s birthday party??? Give me sloppy drunk Don who picks up waitresses from diners, not girlie Don!
10:56: I don’t like Don’s feminine side. It’s killing me!
10:57: Faye seducing Don? Did he just say “no?” Is this bizarro world???
10:58: Don can’t go there right now?? Where’s the real Don Draper and what have you done with him????
10:59: Aqualung is back, but he’s not coughing up any internal organs this time.
11:00: Don crashes Gene’s birthday party! I love that he’s carrying a huge stuffed elephant under his arm since he’s the proverbial stuffed elephant in the room while Betty’s face goes all mad cow!
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